Welcome to another edition of Fantasy Five Hundred, a new feature where we give a guest an imaginary £500 budget to spend on football shirts! What will they choose, new or old, quantity or quality, club or country? Let’s find out…
Today we’re looking at the picks of Shirts Shirts Shirts (@JRBulman), a Carlisle United supporter and possibly our first guest who prefers shirts from the 00s to shirts from the 90s, due to them being more affordable and comfortable. That’s fighting talk, so here we go for round one:
WEST GERMANY HOME 90
JRBulman: “I’m starting with the biggy. My Dream shirt to be honest. Others might go Netherlands 88 but for me the West Germany italia 90 shirt just screams class. The ultimate holy grail for me.”
Cost: £175, Total so far: £175
People use the term ‘holy grail’ far too liberally these days. Gets used on brand new stuff, common stuff, shirts you only saw five minutes ago. But JRBulman has it right. if we’re talking holy, if we’re talking shirt deities, then this is it. Along with Netherlands ‘88 you’ll struggle to find a more universally recognised, dare I say loved, classic football shirt icon. Not just any classic. The classic.
BAYERN MUNICH HOME 99/01
JRBulman: “Second up is just a nice solid Bayern shirt from the turn of the century.”
Cost: £75, Total so far: £250
There was a time when almost every season Bayern would have an identity crisis. Constantly trying to reinvent the wheel, they’ve played with their traditional all red home shirts to the point of being virtually unrecognisable. Red, blue, white, black, plain, striped, hoops, dark sleeves, light sleeves, they’ve had more image changes than Madonna. They still manage to look good though and this is a solid, underrated pick.
JUVENTUS HOME 97/98
JRBulman: “For some reason I prefer this MiniDisc version!”
Cost: £70, Total so far: £320
Why wouldn’t you prefer the MiniDisc version? What a brilliant time capsule of a shirt, advertising something that not only is obsolete but also wasn’t very cool at the time. Of course both of those things now make it very cool today, a MiniDisc player would be the perfect addition to this smart Juve home.
AJAX THIRD 21/22
JRBulman: “I really like this seasons Ajax shirt. Currently sold out but assume it will come back into stock at some point.”
Cost: £70, Total so far: £390
We can, and do, talk about inspirations behind football shirts, the history, the meanings behind designs all the time. Adidas will tell you that it’s inspired by Bob Marley because Ajax fans sing ‘Three Little Birds’, but the cynic in me feels like there’s a more profit driven element to this. And fair play to Adidas, it’s worked magnificently. This shirt has sold every other Ajax shirt this season 4 to 1 and despite the high sales numbers, this one will be sought after in years to come.
FRANCE HOME 00/02
JRBulman: “I wanted to go with the France 2006 away shirt as I’m a huge Teamgeist fan but that was out of the budget. Instead I went for another 2000 era shirt in the home shirt. With Zidane!”
Cost: £84, Grand total: £474
Was Euro 2000 one of the worst of all time? I’ll let you decide that but what can’t be disputed is that there were some nice shirts on display and this is one of them. France’s ‘98 shirt has been co-opted by the hipster crowd now, it’s too obvious, people will see through you. Instead JRBulman has stuck to his guns and his love of 2000’s shirts and gone for this, with a Zizou nameset no less.
I am surprised -no, shocked- that we have made it 11 features in and this is the first time we’re seeing that Germany shirt. Big thanks to Shirts Shirts Shirts for taking part, make sure to give him a follow on Twitter (@JRBulman). Do you have a favourite? How would you spend differently? Head over to Twitter to discuss! The next Fantasy Five Hundred will be coming soon!
Kit For Brains 
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