Welcome to another edition of Fantasy Five Hundred, a new feature where we give a guest an imaginary £500 budget to spend on football shirts! What will they choose, new or old, quantity or quality, club or country? Let’s find out…
Today’s guest is Steve (@SteveShirts), an Arsenal and St Johnstone fan with a very varied collection. His choices reflect this diversity, so without further ado, over to you mate…
Steve: Since you messaged with the ask my mind has been going as to what to put on my shopping list! Thanks for getting me involved, looking forward to seeing what everyone picks!
So when I was thinking about how best to spend this £500 (a nice problem to have!) I thought I’d probably want to get a big hitter, a couple of medium priced shirts and some bargains as well.
In terms of what I collect, I’m an Arsenal and St Johnstone fan so always keep an eye on their shirts and also have a massive liking for Italian clubs, mainly Lazio and Fiorentina but honestly all of them. In saying that, some of the favourite shirts in my collection are random ones from the Bundesliga, Eredivisie and national teams for example. So I guess I’m a bit of an all rounder when it comes to collecting! Which is bad in a way because I get tempted by so many rather than just a select few! Anyway, on to my picks!
ARSENAL AWAY 91/93
Steve: This is what it’s all about. The big one. If you’re an Arsenal fan, it doesn’t get much better than this. Its the 90s, it’s Adidas, it’s JVC, it’s the bruised banana. A timeless classic and one I’ve always wanted but as you can guess they don’t come cheap. This actually popped up on Twitter recently for £230 from @stevo1885 which is a good price, especially for a Medium size in excellent condition.
Cost: £230, Total so far: £230
A shirt that needs no introduction. So infamous people refer to it solely by its nickname. Universally recognisable, maybe not universally revered, but definitely iconic. I feel like any Venn diagram of ‘Arsenal fan’ and ‘Football shirt collector’ probably has this shirt in the middle. That is a bargain price for it, but still nearly half of the budget for this feature!
LAZIO FOURTH 14/15
Steve: This shirt has been a rollercoaster for me. It’s a magnificent take on the eagle design that Lazio had in the 80s and was on my wish list for ages. I finally managed to get one, with a Klose name set no less. Happy days. I then found out it was a super tight fit (size 2 up on this one) so it was going to be no good for me. After trying to get a swap for a bigger size I had no luck and eventually sold it for honestly such a low price it still keeps me up at night. Annoyingly there’s a very similar version which was used in the 18/19 season but it’s just not the same, the collar is way different for starters. Of course, that one is readily available! Sod’s law! Since then, I’ve been looking for one that actually fits me and I wouldn’t pay this much usually (I sold mine for WAY less) but then again I don’t have £500 burning a hole in my pocket!
Cost: £90, Total so far: £320
There’s been criticism recently about teams releasing four kits per season but it’s not just a modern trend. Back in 14/15 Lazio released this throwback kit for their 115th Anniversary as a fourth shirt for that season. You can call it a cash grab, you can call it unnecessary, but what you can’t call it is unpopular. When a shirt looks this good, there will always be demand.
ST JOHNSTONE AWAY 21/22
Steve: For anyone who doesn’t support Saints they’re probably wondering what this kit is all about. Well it’s a throwback to our 89-91 away shirt which was just as we were establishing ourselves as the club that we are today. I can’t tell you how good it is to have Macron as our manufacturer after some dark years with Surridge, BLK and Joma (they were the lesser of the evils). They also offer long sleeves for our shirts and at just £5 more than the short sleeve version. I’ve gone for Ali McCann on the back and for good reason. He could well be the best ever player who has come though our ranks, no joke. Just 21 years old, he’s already a full international for Northern Ireland and head and shoulders above the rest of our team. Expect him to move onto a bigger club very soon.
Cost: £70 (long sleeve w/McCann nameset), Total so far: £390
How smart is this number? Macron are a seriously underrated brand, this away effort with clean red and white stripes is all class. Add long sleeves and a nameset and Steve has got one seriously nice shirt here.
JAPAN HOME 20/22
Steve: I’ve always wanted this shirt but either seem to never have the cash or another shirt I want pops up. I really like the Samurai Blue and this is a magnificent home shirt, one of the best from last season in my opinion. @Fan_Favourites was selling these recently on Twitter for £45 which is a bloody steal. I really do need to pick this one up!
Cost: £45, Total so far: £435
This is going to be a future classic isn’t it? The camouflage-looking pattern is inspired by traditional Japanese art, but some would argue that the shirt itself is art. The red detailing really finishes everything off nicely, the only criticism I have is that the pattern doesn’t extend to the back of the shirt.
AC MILAN HOME 19/20
Steve: Time for some bargains! Shout out to @shirtdisciple (on Twitter) for bringing this to my attention. A class Milan shirt with Ibra on the back for under thirty quid? Yes please. Amazon occasionally toss up a bargain and this is one of them.
Cost: £28 (w/ Ibrahimovic printing), Total so far: £463
Love him or hate him, you can’t ignore Ibra. AC Milan going for thin stripes in the 19/20 season and while it wasn’t a great time for them on the pitch, at least they looked good doing it.
SCOTLAND HOME EURO 2020
Steve: As a Scot this shirt is definitely on the list for me. It’s the first time we qualified for a major tournament since France ‘98 so just for that it’s special. Plus I have the away shirt so it would complete the set. Did we crash and burn at the Euros? Yes. Were we the only other team apart from Italy that England couldn’t beat? Yes. (Please don’t take that seriously everyone!) More importantly, is this a nice shirt? Definitely. And for £30 with badges before any student discount, count me in.
Cost: £30 (w/ Euro patches), Grand total: £493
There’s something great about having Scotland in a major tournament, and not just the sigh of relief from the other teams in their group (that’s a joke, I do love you, Scotland) but because they feel like the ultimate underdogs. True that they didn’t do too well at Euro 2020, but gave England a black eye which is something to be proud of. So many talented players in the team too, so this shirt, as well as being a bargain, will be a nice memory of Scotland’s Euro adventure.
Big variety of choices there! Big thanks to Steve for taking part, why not give him a follow on Twitter (@SteveShirts). Do you have a favourite? How would you spend differently? Head over to Twitter to discuss! The next Fantasy Five Hundred will be coming soon!
Kit For Brains 
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