Kit For Brains can reveal it has chatted exclusively with kit supplier New Balance, who are pointing out in great detail that they’re ‘doing just fine’ after their abrupt split with Liverpool earlier this year.
‘We’re great! We’re just taking time to work on ourselves, you know? When we were with Liverpool it was all win, win, win, trophy, trophy trophy, we had no time to breathe. But now we’re doing the things we’ve always wanted to do, like yoga’ they said, via DM at 2 in the morning.
‘We’re fine, better than ever! We’ve been seeing sooo many other teams, just trying to find ourselves, you know, now that we’re not giving all our energy to one squad. We’ve been seeing a French team, even.’
In between posting Adele and Taylor Swift lyrics on their twitter they added ‘Do Liverpool ever mention us? I mean we’re not bothered… I heard Nike cheated on their last team, is that true?’
Liverpool aren’t the only successful team that have walked out on New Balance this year as Celtic have also left, for Adidas. ‘I just wonder if its us? Something we’re doing? WE CAN CHANGE!’
Despite the acrimonious court case, which they lost, the American sportswear company said it would like to try and ‘remain friends’ with Liverpool.
However, it’s clear that resentment is still lurking. ‘Remember who Liverpool were with before us? Warrior. What a joke. Why did we ever lower ourselves to their level, when clearly they’ll get with anyone. Hope they enjoy this Nike thing while it lasts’, they said, while opening another bottle of Echo Falls. ‘Sure, now it’s all Vapor kit this, inspired by the Shankly Gates that, but soon the honeymoon period will wear off and they’ll be sharing the same template with Preston North End, then they’ll come crawling back!’
New Balance supplied kits to Liverpool for 5 years, beginning their sponsorship just before Jürgen Klopp joined and revolutionised the club. ‘We gave Liverpool the best 5 years of our life, when we got with them they were NOTHING. THEY HAD FUCKING SAKHO AND WERE FINISHING 8th IN THE PREMIERSHIP, WE TOOK THEM TO THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!’
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