FULHAM’S NEW KIT TROUBLE

Reporting By Nathan Clickbate August 26th 2020

Fulham, yesterday

With the Premier League due to resume in just over 2 weeks, Fulham may be left red faced as they have no kit for the new season.

‘We definitely didn’t forget to design one’ said Fulham spokesman John Cravencottage. ‘It’s just that with Covid and then lockdown, plus working from home…I don’t know what day it is anymore’ he added, while gesturing vaguely with his hands. ‘Has it been July yet? I think I’ve missed the wifes birthday, shes not speaking to me.’

Meanwhile Kit For Brains managed to get an INSIDE SCOOP from a trusted Fulham source, Lily White, who wishes to remain nameless. ‘The truth is, we thought the season would be postponed a lot longer, and we’d have more time’ she said, over Zoom. ‘Now it’s going to start in a couple of weeks and we don’t know what to do. We tried to order a set of our old kits off Classic Football Shirts but we forgot the discount code and we can’t afford it without. I mean, DHGate already have our new kit, but they’ll take at least 6 weeks to ship here.’

The FA have weighed in on the matter, saying Fulham can either take a kit out of the Premier League lost property box, or compete in vest and pants.

Fulham’s potential new kit, yesterday

Whatever happens, a solution will need to be found quickly. ‘We’re exploring all possible options’ says Lily White, anonymously. ‘We’re hoping to write to the Premier League governing body to get out of our fixtures. We’re just waiting on the note from Mitrović, he’s the best at forging his mums handwriting.’

Current kit supplier Adidas may step in to save the day yet though. A man on the telephone said ‘We can knock out some kits in a week for them, yeah. I mean it’s just the same teamwear template with a badge stitched on. Wait, which club are we talking about again?’

Nathan Clickbate is a guest reporter for Kit For Brains. He also fabricates stories for hipster footballing website Trequartista and his YouTube channel ‘The Inverted Winger’ has several views.

@kitforbrains is on Twitter and Instagram

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